Nothing relaxes me like a good study session.
Maybe I’m weird.
No, I know I’m weird. My friends tell me this all the time.
But I enjoy studying because I sincerely enjoy learning, especially when learning about the English language. But in these last few months of college, I’ve been having to really buckle down on my work and push through it. Whether or not I like studying, it’s still hard when I have to pull two all-nighters in a row. Final papers…assignments…journals…discussions…all blend together in a seemingly never-ending pile of paperwork. I feel slightly drained, like a sponge that’s had all it’s water squeezed out. I enjoy thinking about literature and its effects on human history. It’s my favorite thing to talk about! But my work has been at me for so long it’s difficult to put any sincere kind of thought behind any topic. I’ve started faking it, and in doing so I’ve lost what I went to college for, my drive for learning.
But perhaps this is a required step before graduation. I am so, so close to finishing! I can almost taste it. It’s been a fairly easy ride for me so far (easy in that I’ve enjoyed my work), so it would make sense that life could not let me off scot free.
No matter what though, I still feel fabulously lucky. I’m going to be the first person in my family to own a bachelor’s degree. I’ll not have any student debt. I’ll be given many different job opportunities after I graduate. I have a leg up in this world that my parents never had and I am thankful each and every day.
So perhaps I shouldn’t be complaining about my work load, because no matter what I have to go through, I know it will be worth it. I have the strength to continue on in this, and continue on with anything else I may need to push through because my end result is worth so much to me.
And after all of this is over, who says I have to stop learning? There are online classes and all sorts of courses I could take just for the sake of education, and I wouldn’t have to worry about due dates then. 😉
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